Hell's Half Acre

I like this little comic by Somerled.

16 days until my Epic China-Singapore-Vancouver adventure (with side-trip to Redmond, WA)!

I did some laundry last night and realized that I had not done laundry for a month. This means two things: A) I own a lot of underwear. B) I have been wearing nothing but pyjamas way too much.

Really, the only thing left for me to do is to exchange my currency (for which I have to drive into Ottawa) and figure out how I'm packing everything I need for 6 weeks into a carry-on backpack. Thankfully, there's one thing doing laundry has taught me: If I do laundry more often, I don't actually need that much.

I also have to write down phone numbers of the people I'm going to visit, both for myself, and for Mum in case she needs to get in touch with me. Mostly though, I am looking forward to being MIA when it comes to communication. I would like to take this opportunity to run-away completely for a bit.

I want to have adventures and not tell anyone about them, because that is my favorite part of travel - all those secret things that only I know. I like to dance around people's assumptions...tease them with random unconnected details. Make them think they know me, think they know where I've been and what I've done. I'm probably not good at it. People probably figure it out, or at least some do. Others I tell honestly...or as honestly as I get. My friends know me better than I know myself, so there's no point playing with most of them. 

It's because I'm partially obsessed with perception - the way we are all numerous people at once. A thousand parallel worlds that we can never see, but that are the reality for others. I am not myself to you, and I never will be, so why should I try? It's easier to discover - to guess a little at - who you think I am, and play to that. Reinforce the ideas that I like, that I wish I could be maybe, that I'd like to think I am, and try to diminish those things that I don't agree with - whether true or not. I never lie, mind you. I omit.

I think I like traveling because it is a constant state of metamorphosis, in which I never ever change. I am always the same and I know who that is better when there is an illusion of change around me. When things stay the same too long, I forget sometimes what it is like to just have myself and nothing else.

Today, for the first time in quite a while, I woke up at 8am and left the house in order to work. I had meetings in Hull. (For those who don't live in Ottawa: Look up Ottawa, ON, on Googlemaps...you see all that city-stuff on the north side of the river? That's Hull). I don't like going to Hull for two reasons: 1)I get lost as soon as I cross over the bridge (any bridge) 2)It's hard to know where to park when you are lost.

I studied Googlemaps before I left, but once again, I got lost the moment I drove over the bridge - this is quite an amazing feat, since the building I needed was RIGHT BESIDE THE BRIDGE. Anyway, I parked over by the Museum of Civilization, because that's the only thing I know how to get to in Hull, and I walked to where I needed to go.

As I was sitting through meetings, it occured to me that I really didn't mind being there. Firstly, Hull isn't as bad as some people (and by some people, I mean me) make it out to be. It's small, and maybe the only thing of real interest is the Museum of Civilization, but there are a couple of streets that are quite pretty, and the view of Ottawa and the Ottawa river are really nice. Secondly, although I have always felt like working for 8 hours a day was a waste of my life, it occured to me that working in the morning really isn't that bad. I'm usually asleep all morning anyway, so working instead wasn't actually wasting my time at all. What I'm trying to say is that working is the same as sleeping. You are alive, but you aren't really living. So, working all morning and sleeping all morning seemed like interchangable things.

I had this revelation as I was driving home (I must say, the drive to and home from Hull is something I don't mind at all - I really like the parkway, especially when there is no traffic). It's a long way home from Hull though. I had left Hull at around 1:15. I had the revelation about working in the mornings being not-so-bad at about 1:30, just as I was coming to the end of the Parkway. At about 1:50, as I was pulling onto Flewellyn for the remaining 20 minutes of my commute, my body decided to remind me why work and sleep are actually NOT interchangable.

Tiredness hit me like a slap-in-the-face. This has always been something that annoys me about myself. I never gradually ease into either tiredness or hunger. I am either not hungry or starving to death. I am either awake or about to pass out. It is never a good thing to be driving when my body decides it is tired. 

At first I cursed the world for being geared towards people who regularly ingest caffeine. As far as I know, it's the only drug that not only is accepted world-wide as harmless, but also has entire societies based on it's consumption. Then it occured to me that back in the day, even before the invention of coffee (or it's widespread availability), farmers used to get up with the sunrise and stay awake all day doing hard labour...this was because they went to sleep when the sun set. 'Huh' I thought, 'What a concept! If I worked in the mornings and didn't want to pass out at exactly 2pm every afternoon, I would have to go to bed earlier...which means that I wouldn't be awake from, let's say, 10pm to 2am, like I normally am. So, not only would I be wasting my time in the mornings, but I would be wasting my time at night too...sleep and work, although similar, are therefore NOT interchangable.'

After a couple of tense moments, I got home, greeted the dog, checked my email and a couple of websites, and went for a nap. MAN, I love naps. I had the best nap ever. I dreamt things that I don't remember now but I quiet enjoyed at the time. Nap dreams are often fun, because they are just like more trippy thinking, they aren't actually dreams. They are, as I imagine, what thinking on drugs is like....the weirdest things completely blow your mind, and you feel like you have stumbled onto brilliance, even though you realize later that it was all ridiculous...or sometimes it's like little movies of thoughts.

The best part about my nap was that I woke up at the perfect point in the sleep-cycle. I woke up feeling like I had slept for 8 hours, when really it had just been one. Plus, since the sun set at 4:48 today, it was dark when I woke up and I was all cozy under my Avatar Blanket.

I'm not sure what the point of all this is. Maybe I just wanted to tell someone about my day. Or maybe it was to illustrate that I really need to find a profession where I don't actually feel like I'm wasting my time on this planet. (The whole notion is quite ridiculous anyway, since I know for a fact that when I don't have work, all I do is sit around all day and waste my life on the internet - or sleeping. Plus, working pays for my trips! and that's all that really matters - Trips and Friends! Trippy Friends! Tripping Friends? Friendly Trips!).

To complete my day, I went to band practice with Mum. It was fun. Then I played games with Gabe. It was also fun. Then I watched Jon Stewart. He was funny. Then I watched facebook videos of Gabe, Frank, and Eric jamming in Gabe's living room last summer. It made me ...umm...Gabe'sHomesick.

I also talked to Max a little today. As usually, he is awesome.

And that is my ENTIRE DAY. Next I'm going to go to sleep. Tomorrow I will start working at 1pm, because I'll be sleeping all morning.

I have now booked my flight(s) to Asia! My travel plans are now SET IN STONE! (or at least electronic file storage on airline computer servers).

Above is a picture of Gabe and Sarah, back in 2003, during a little class trip down to Luzern, Switzerland. They are posing as part two of what Gabe calls "The Princess Di and Prince Charles pose." (part one is them looking away from each other and clearly looking miserable).

Who knew, that six years later, I would be flying across the pacific ocean in order to visit them. Gabe is in China, as you all know by now, and Sarah is teaching in Singapore with her husband (who happens to also be a friend of mine). So, I have booked 3 of the four flights that I will be taking between January and March. I'll be starting my Asia tour in Shanghai, and ending it in Singapore, all that remains to be purchased is my plane ticket between the two countries, but I'm going to wait until I'm in China to do that.

I'll be gone from January 22nd until March 11th. A little longer than my original "one month" plan, but honestly, who can blame me. Also that includes a stop in Vancouver to see my sister Susan, and hopefully also a jaunt down to Seattle to see my sister Emily.

I'm very excited! A little bit nervous - because things always make me nervous when I realize that they are actually going to happen. Overwhelmingly excited though. I just hope that despite my crappy job, I can earn enough money to have a good time.

In truth, my plane tickets were much cheaper than I thought they would be...almost half as much as I was expecting. "Great Alix! You can save money!" is probably what you are thinking, but that's not where my mind went...my thought was "Wow, I might have money left over...you know...they have pretty cheap flights sometimes between Ottawa and Frankfurt...."

So, here's what I'm thinking now: ASIA TOUR January 23rd-March 11th, followed perhaps closely by TRIP TO GERMANY TO SEE SHERRIE! possibly in April, possibly in June...depends on a few factors, such as "is Sherrie even around then?" And "do people going on trips need me to house sit?" As well as, "do I even still have a job?"

But 2009 could be the year of visiting my long-lost friends! It'd be so much fun!

I had plans for posts here, but now I can't think of them. So here are a bunch of random topics:

Sometimes I'll be wracked with indecision for days. I'll wake, eat, and sleep, only considering the possibilities. There will be a sense of urgency, left over, I'm sure, by some instinctual stone-age aspect of my brain. Then, all of a sudden I'll wake up and think "I don't have to make this decision now" and suddenly it no longer matters as much as it did...or at least, the urgency is gone. I can get back to my normal life without the obsession over gathering information for the decision. Of course, by then the insomniac narcolepsy that's a byproduct of "Alix under pressure" has usually completely messed up my sleep patterns...and I'm up until 4am and sleeping 12 hours (at least) a day.

Supernatural started it's fourth season last week. I still really like that show. Usually I'm tired of dramas by their fourth season. I made it half-way through season two of Heroes. The last season of Doctor Who stopped cutting it for me (though, I have yet to abandon the series entirely - it's saving grace is the humour, I suppose).  I'm looking forward to mini-season three of Torchwood, so that's also a winner so far I suppose. I was about to suggest that maybe Supernatural's saving grace was the fact that I watched the first three seasons in one fell swoop over the summer - but I did that with Kyle XY for a while and I lost interest in it too. Though, I've been told I have to watch it again, because my friend's brother-in-law is going to have a bit part on it. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is "Supernatural is a surprisingly good show!"

I did a rough estimate on how much plane-fare alone may cost me for my planned Asia/Vancouver trip in February...it was not pretty. Well, it was about $500 more than I had pictured, and there's no telling if my estimate is high-end or low-end. Sometimes I wonder if I'm crazy, then I remember that travelling is awesome and it's the rest of the world that's crazy.

That being said, it surprisingly occured to me the other day that I don't really feel like going anywhere. I mean, I feel like travelling - I'm very tempted fly to Frankfurt, for instance. But I don't feel like moving anywhere. I don't feel like taking off to some other Canadian or international city in order to live there. I sort of just feel like sticking around Ottawa. This is very unusual for me. I am not sure whether it is a sign that I am old, or a sign that I am lazy...or both.

Over on myspace I posted about how much I like my friends and how wonderful they were. Then Gabe hid for over three days. I love it when my friends are marvelous and then turn around and do the things I find most annoying about them. Thankfully, the benefit of having known Gabe for over six years is that this time when he wrote and said "Sorry, I've been hiding and haven't been online in days :S...." My only reply was "*shrug*" because honestly, it's not like I was surprised.

Anyway...anything else random I should cover? The new car is going great. I was going to post a picture of it over here, but I am horribly lazy.