hells_half_acre: (!!!!)

Once again, at a loss as to what to write about (it's hard to have a blog when your life is boring), here is a funny conversation between Gabe and I from the past:

(I was asking Gabe, on behalf of my Susan, how to tell if eggs had gone bad. He told me and we discussed boiling a potentially bad egg...)

Gabe: well, it'll still boil, if a bit unappealing...I don't recommend eating it though, but that' my personal "ew, potential germs' self talking
Alix: Hahaha...I'll pass that along...
Gabe: but then...boiling water kills germs, right...?
Alix: Yes it does
Alix: But, I think you have to boil it for at least 5 minutes to kill all germans.
Alix: GERMS!

Gabe: HAHAHAH
Gabe: What ARE you thinking about?!?!?!

Alix: It was force of habit...I went to write germs and my fingers typed germans....even then, I wrote germans and had to fix it!
Gabe: :S
Gabe: well, I'm sure Germans would die after being boiled for 5 minutes, so you're not factually wrong....


hells_half_acre: (Clouds)
It's been a busy end to the summer. I went to Peterborough and camped at the Warsaw Caves with a couple of friends, then I went to Lennoxville and hung out with Max and Amy for a weekend. All was great fun.
One thing that happened amidst all that was Susan leaving for Vancouver. It was great fun having her around for the summer. It seemed to fly by and I really enjoyed her company around the house.

I write up funny conversations between Gabe and I (or between Gabe and himself) all the time, but he isn't the only hilarious person in my life. Susan is also absolutely hilarious, a good deal of the time she doesn't even intend to be. She has a naturally funny conversational delivery. Anyway, here are a couple of my favorite Susan moments from the past week:

*Alix and Susan are in the grocery store and decide to get some more shortcake cookies. They go to the cookie aisle and find that the shelves are in slight disarray and the shortcake cookies are not immediately noticeable*
Susan: What the heck happened here?
Alix: I don't know. Where are the shortcake cookies?
Susan: You know, this is what the apocalypse is going to be like.
Alix: It really is.

*Susan wants to go through the McDonald's drivethru, and buys Alix a bribe of a hot fudge sundae. They are sitting across the parking lot from the drivethru while Alix eats her sundae. From over twenty feet away they hear the McDonald's drivethru speaker box...*
Speakerbox: One moment please.
Susan: Wow, that's really loud. *mimics shouting out the window* I WOULD LIKE A LARGE....
*Mimics being the dude going through the drivethru* No! No! That's not what I want!!! STOP IT! DON'T LISTEN TO HER!
Alix: Hahahaha!
Susan: And then he starts crying.

*Susan is going through her closet looking for things she wants to bring back to Vancouver. When she finds something, she carries it out to her suitcase in the hall, passing by Alix's door, sometimes while talking to herself about what she found...*
Susan: ...a Coldplay poster for my studio...
Alix *actually takes notice of what she said that time*: Oh cool.
Susan *coming back to stand in front of Alix's door*: Yeah! And you want to know what else?! I have a dime stuck to my foot!"
Alix: Haha!
*Susan walks back into her room to get some clothes to pack, on her way back she stops in front of Alix's door again and lifts up her foot *
Susan: See!
*Sure enough, there is a dime stuck to the ball of her foot*
Alix: Nice
Susan: It's my lucky day!

hells_half_acre: (Default)
As you can tell, inspiration for this journal has not struck me recently. And so, it is time to reach into the vault (ie: my hard drive) and find some amusing things. For this week's addition: Conversations with Hilarious Friends!

Bruno: The Post-Modern Henchman

Alix says: I told him if he stayed I would get my henchman Bruno to crack his knee caps.
Alix says: Because no matter what Gabe says - as long as I believe in Bruno, he is real.
Sherrie says: WELL if Gabe had done his masters he would know that in such a world of relativity like ours, where there is no standard of truth or ability to measure reality, then Bruno is REAL because you say he is.
Alix says: Bruno: The Post-Modern Henchman
Sherrie says: and he is FUCKING scary
Alix says: If he doesn't intimidate you with his physical strength, he will bring you to tears by making you question everything you held to be true.
Sherrie says: and he won't have to hurt you because you will slice open your own veins from the sheer fleetingness of it all
Alix says: Exactly..thus making Bruno's "jobs" untraceable to me


Saner


Alix says: You are insane
Gabe says: and getting SANER
Alix says: Really?
Gabe says: Saner: CRAP!! He's after me!!!:-O

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