Hell's Half Acre

The good news is that I'm still alive!

I believe I last posted on the main feed over a year ago now, ending in some foolish promise to get S14 clothes posted by February and then to start in on S15. 

I HAVE been working on S14 clothes, but I still have some new entries to publish before that's done. I have also at least PURCHASED the S15 DVDs, so... all hope is not lost? Back in the spring, someone offered to help me if I needed it, and I was like "no no, I want to do it myself - I have the whole summer" - and then....

I think I explained that in 2020, it was hard to get stuff done because there was a global pandemic and I also started a new full time job. Well, surprise surprise, in 2021 there was still a global pandemic, and my company got bought by another company, and my job was stressful for other reasons.

On top of that, I'm not going to lie to you - my interest in Supernatural waned. It had been waning for a few years, as the writing in the later seasons was a little frustrating for me - I still had fun watching it, of course, and it was a great tradition to keep up with my local IRL friend. I still listen and enjoy a podcast about the show too - and am probably also going to check out the official podcast Rob & Rich started. BUT, that being said, I'm in the minority of people who didn't like the finale (either of them)... it just wasn't to my personal taste, which I sort of knew was going to happen, but it was still somewhat of a disappointment. It's like when your drunk uncle says something inappropriate at the wedding - you all knew that's what was going to happen when you invited him, but you're still going sigh and be disappointed in him.

I think because the final season didn't necessarily bring me a lot of joy, it's hard to motivate myself to finish up posting S14 clothes so that I can start in on a S15 rewatch. On top of that, LJ audience has been waning since 2012, and there's not much motivation to post in terms of engagement.

These aren't excuses - this is just an explanation. These are unavoidable things that affect my ability to get things done. 

Today, they announced that the Prequel was getting a pilot, so I realized I should probably post and maybe apologize a little. I still do intend to get the S14 clothes up, and to do a S15 rewatch, because I want to complete the project that I started. 

But... BUT.... I'm likely starting a new job soon (yes, again), so, I'm being honest that I might not be speedy (understatement). BUT, BUT...I also don't want to be making another one of these posts in 2023, so that's some motivation.

Will I watch the Prequel? I don't know. Obviously, I love the Supernatural Universe as it were, and I love Robbie Thompson as a writer... but I also feel like the problem with the later seasons was that they retconned too much, and I fear setting a prequel in the 1970s and telling a completely different story of Mary and John is just going to annoy me rather than entertain me. Perhaps I'll watch it, but I won't turn it into PROJECT LAND, like I did for Supernatural. I won't commit to anything. I've got very limited space in my mind these days for caring about fictional characters, to the point where I'm genuinely only watching 1 new-to-me show at the moment, and I'm only watching it because my friends like to have something to watch together when we hang out.... and it's a good show, but even then, the only way I can agree to watch it is if I watch it in a sort of emotionally detached way. I'm just too drained from life in general to care about fictional drama as well.

It's not ALL bad news though, lately I've been getting the itch to write fanfiction again, so even though it's been 2 years, I may dust off my AO3 account and possibly write just one more installment for the Demented'verse. We'll see, I think I've promised that before too, and probably so long ago that anyone I promised it to has forgotten.

Anyway, I hope you all are well!

 I realize that basically since the show went on hiatus back in February(?), I have done nothing but post messages that say that I'm alive and that I have plans to start doing rewatches again soon....

... listen, I don't need to tell you that it's been a weird year. 

With the show finishing off in October, I do really want to finish up my S14 rewatches, post the clothing catalogue, and basically get that entire task squared away.

The problem now is that my schedule doesn't revolve around SPN posting anymore, so it's really hard for me to find the time. And, the truth of the matter is that I've moved on mentally as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm still curious about how the show will end - I'm still really looking forward to seeing the final episodes, and the special about the show too, etc. But since these last few seasons haven't exactly been my favourite, and my mind has already moved on to the next obsessive passion, it's hard for me to enthusiastically sit down and do a rewatch or work on the clothing catalogue. So, it becomes a task that is a low priorty for me. It becomes a task that's a little more "work" than "leisure." If I have a day off, I'm more likely to spend it enjoying new things.

And lets be honest, the majority of people who read and commented on my rewatch posts have moved on to. There are maybe one or two people who still engage with me regularly on here, and while I appreciate them immensely, it's still not the same as back in the days when I had high engagement and felt that people actually cared whether I posted or not.

I AM GOING TO FINISH THE REWATCHES. I mean, for chrissakes, I've got 1.5 seasons left to be a completist about the show. I'm going to do it. It's just a question of how swiftly. I was supposed to do one this weekend, but instead I hung out with my friends and participated in a virtual bookclub, and drank a glass of whiskey at night which makes me mostly useless and I know it.

And I'm going to finish the clothing catalogue too - though I don't know how many years later it's going to stay up, since it cost me hosting fees for all the pictures every year. But the core of it will remain. The clothing catalogue may look a little different this year, because I thought I was being clever by not updating my files as I went (time consuming) and instead just taking notes to update them later... and now I've accidentally lost half my notes...so... yeah, instead of pinpointing the scenes where they change clothes, it might be more vague, like "Dean wears this in the first half of the episode" because I can tell that much from my screencaps that I take as references while I watch.

ANYWAY, this is the latest "I'm still alive and I promise to get back to rewatches" sorry if I've let you down this year when you needed some familiarity and distractions. It's been a bit of year for me too though - like, my mother got major surgery in February, then suddenly global pandemic, then I switched jobs and was working two jobs, then I was once again visiting my mother and working evenings and weekends because I was in a different timezone with a new job... and now I'm back in Vancouver, and I'm fairly settled into the new job, but I've only been here two weeks, so I've sort of been forgiving myself a little in how slow I am to figure out what exaclty my schedule looks like in this new world.

My current loose plan is to start rewatches again this week/end. 

See, this is what happens every day. I finish work around 2 or 3 if I'm lucky (a couple of times it's been 5 or 6). Then I think, okay, I have a couple of things that I need to do this afternoon, but that should finish by 5 or 6, then I have dinner - and by 7 or 8 I should be sitting down to watch an episode of Supernatural, so that I can get my rewatches done and the clothing catalog completed....

... but then it's suddenly 9:30, and I've only just finished dinner. I still haven't exercised at all during the day, and I'm getting really tired of sitting... so, fine, I could go for a walk, or exercise in the apartment if it's bad weather... but then that'll take me to 10 or 11, and then it's far too late to start on an episode of Supernatural... and if I do Supernatural first, then I'll be distracted because I'll be wanting to exercise rather than do Supernatural, and then by the time I'm done the episode, it'll be too late to go for a walk or exercise, and then I'll end up feeling unhealthy and in a bad mood, and that's no good. 

RAR. Anyway, I only finished half that course last weekend. So, I'm probably going to be working on that this weekend as well. I will seriously attempt to get Lebanon watched. I will. 

I'm just.. apparently super bad at time management. What I really need to do is is not be social AT ALL. Because I think what happens is that when I get off work, what I do is go on social media to see what my friends are up to, and then I get sucked into that black hole.

I'm sorry I'm so bad this year at updating and staying on top of things. This year as just been SO STRANGE. 

"Hey - didn't you promise you'd get a lot of rewatches done during the hiatus? Didn't you plan to have S14 clothing finished by the spring? Where have you been?"

... so, a few things have been keeping me from rewatches. And they are, in no particular order:
1)My own disinterest in watching S14 again - as it turns out, it's not one of my favourite seasons, so it's hard to motivate myself to spend my precious free time on rewatching it. 
2)My mother had to get major surgery last week, and so I had to fly back to east to help her in the recover period - I brought my DVDs with me, full of hope, but honestly, between still working and hospital visits, I maybe only got 2 hours of uninterrupted quality free time every day... and please refer to point #1.
3)March is a SUPER busy month for me. I don't get back to my own place until next week. And then I'll be gone again a total of 10 days throughout the month. When I AM in town, I have to put in as many hours of work as possible, because I don't get paid vacation - so not working for 6 days out of the month is a major blow to my finances.
4)I have an opportunity to do another art project in April. I had fun doing the one I did in November, but that one ate up a LOT of my free time (including me pulling 2 all-nighters). So, we'll see. If I don't do the art project in April, then I may do rewatches then. 

The upshot of this is that I WILL get the rewatches and clothing for S14 finished. But it'll most likely be in April or May. And until then, I'm just going to focus on keeping up with S15 quick reactions and timeline.

In the spirit of reflection, I stole these questions from metallidean_girl... usually, on New Years Eve, I used to do a fic-themed recap of the year, but much like last year, I think I only managed one fic this year, so there's not much to talk about Hopefully next year I do a little better in terms of getting more than one fic done.

So, here's some general questions:

1. What happened to you in 2017 that made you the happiest?
Well, I finally earned enough money to go on a vacation - which came in handy, when my bestfriend decided to get married in Nov. You'd think, perhaps, the wedding would have made me the happiest, but would that it were so simple. Instead, the wedding was a churning pit of conflicting emotions, which I navigated with grace and aplomb and only one teary phonecall back home to my other BFF, so that they could assure me that I was not going to freeze to death in the desert. BUT, that all aside, I was very proud of myself for being able to afford to go, and also, while I was in California for the wedding, I booked myself a slot to MEET A CHEETAH! And that made me very happy indeed. Also, my other BFF got engaged, and named me the Friend of Honour - and I am indeed honoured. I feel very very lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.

2. What are your plans for New Year's Eve/New Year's Day?
Tonight I'm going to a lowkey houseparty. It is a comfy clothes, let's just chill out, party... which is great, because that's my style these days. New Years Day.... I actually forgot that it's usually a holiday, so I didn't plan time off work or anything. So, I will probably be treating it like a regular day, though hopefully work will be slow and I can use a lot of the day to map out my schedule for the month and hang my new calendars and whatnot.

3. What was the best discovery you made in 2017?
Hmm, this one is tough... I guess, well... if we go by discovery=learning - then I discovered ASL and how much fun it is to learn. If we go by discovery=proving of a hypothesis - then I discovered that much like I had hoped, although I inevitably was laid off, the job I took for the sole purpose of giving myself marketable skills on my resume WORKED and I now have marketable skills on my resume and am in a much better position than I was before I took that job. So, yay! Mission success!

4. What are your thoughts on the idea of "new year/new you?"
I generally don't agree... but it's not that I don't agree that you can change who you are, if you choose to - it's that I disagree that you should do it at New Years. If there is something you want to change about your life, you either do it as soon as you think about it, or you don't do it at all. I recognize that a new year is a good signal to put the past behind you and move on to the future - but in my opinion, if you can't do that in May or mid-November, then you're not going to be able to do it in January ether.

BUT, some people like symbols and hard dates, and setting challenges. AND sometimes it works out that you want to try a different scheduling technique, and the best time to do that is when you buy a new planner/calendar for the upcoming year.... and yeah, I've done that before too. I'm perhaps just cynical about resolutions because it means that my yoga studio and gym get WAY too crowded in January before everyone eventually gives up on their dreams and leaves me in peace.

5. What are you most looking forward to in 2018?
I'm looking forward to seeing if a potential new job will pan out. If it does, I might be able to afford another vacation. If it doesn't - luckily, I have a good steady part-time job right now that covers my basic bills. Other than that... possibly learning more ASL? My friend's stagger party.... seeing if this new scheduling technique I want to try is going to allow me to produce more fic/writing time. US mid-term elections?  Seeeing if Wayward Sisters gets picked up by the CW to go to series. Black Panther. Just living my life?

Happy New Year everybody!

 Hey Everybody! Sorry I've been a little MIA since mid July.

I'm doing well, life has just been busy - I'll probably write about it in a locked post later, if I feel like it - but not right now! 

This is mainly just a reminder to everyone that I will NOT be going to VanCon this year. It's too early in the month and I'm not usually in Vancouver at this time of year (right now, I am in Ontario - where I will remain until the 31st, because I pushed back my flights even further just yesterday in order to spend a little more time here.)

So, no VanCon for me.

I hear tell that next year's VanCon will be in October! This means that a)I'll more than likely be able to go (provided I'm still living in Vancouver at that time,) and b)All the lovely visitors will actually get a taste of the rainy season (ie: late fall/winter) in Vancouver - where it gets dark really early and it's wet and mildly chilly. So, that'll be a little bit of veritas for how the series is filmed, because it really only gets 2.5 months of nice summer weather for filming before we're all plunged into the long dark tea time of the soul... uh, I mean, the long dark winter.

For those not subscribed to my AO3 account, I'm currently posting the final installment of the demented'verse over there (while frantically trying to finish it before AO3 catches up with the chapters that I still need to write/work on.

I tried to use the "puzzle" shut-off for my alarm today. It didn't work - mainly, because I can do simple puzzles while half asleep, and once you do the puzzle, it's done and the alarm is off. Whereas before, even asleep, I'd be smart enough to hit "snooze" not "dismiss" and so be reminded that I'm supposed to wake up at some point about 15 minutes later. Instead of just going back to sleep for another hour and a half. (At least when I hit snooze for an hour and a half, I KNEW I was hitting snooze for an hour and a half.)

Anyway, I'm already off topic.

I spent today in meetings, and when not in meetings, researching software solutions for my company (this was the morning job). The afternoon job, I just did. Then, after work, I continued to sit at the computer and research software solutions for my hobby (video-editing software, for when I want to re-edit shows to my liking.)

The funnest part of that was that I spoke with one of the SPN VFX coordinators for a bit about video-editing (we're friends on FB, though we've only met once or twice IRL).... anyway, he uses adobe premiere - which I might have a lead for a free version of (from someone else), so that's cool. I think that's going to be my choice, because the other top runner was Lightworks, but their free version doesn't look as intuitive. I'm trying to remind myself that I don't like PowerDirector, because a very human part of me is hating the idea of change and just wants to stick with it... but honestly, I think it's probably better if I go with something else.

This was supposed to be short... I keep blathering. I apologize.

Anyway, my point is that I've been sat at this computer all day and my eyeballs are fried. I've been trying to get more exercise and I was doing well last week, but today was an absolute failure. Usually, during the workday, I take five minute breaks and do a bit of the ol' exercise bike... but I didn't even do that today.

On top of that, I realized that my grand goal of writing a bit of fic this week and spending another 2 hours getting S11 clothes up on If Clothes Could Talk isn't going to pan out, because I'm going to the movies tomorrow night and I've got an ASL class on Wednesday, and then on Thursday it's SPN... so, I'm not going to have time to do anything until Friday. And by then I'll probably just want to stare off into space. :P

This is why my fic isn't getting written, people.

I'm also not getting enough sleep at night. The past two weeks, I've only averaged 6.5-6.75 hours/night. Which is NOT enough to keep me healthy and happy.

Part of the problem is my incessant need to stay up past midnight. I really have to get over that. 

Anyway, tomorrow is another day. And it includes several mandatory walks - the first of which is in the morning, because I have to go vote. We're having a provincial election and everyone (I know) is really hoping that we can oust the Liberals (liberals=conservatives.... I know, it's confusing.) Anyway, we'll see. The problem is that the left is split between the NDP and the Greens (the Greens aren't even really left, but people think they are.)

Then I'm going to go see Guardians of the Galaxy 2, followed by a French documentary about love and disenfranchisement called Towards Tenderness (Vers la tendresse). So, that'll be quite the pairing!

So, there was my day. Now it's 11:20, so I'm going to brush my teeth, change computers, and then stare at another screen for an hour or two while I read fanfic.  

I might f-lock these journal posts in the future, but make sure that I friend people who want to see them, so they can keep seeing them. We'll see.

I've been working on the next installment of the demented'verse. The way I work is that I do a really rough outline, and then sort of narrow it down and add things as I go, so I have a series of successive outlines that get a little more detailed and accurate, but cover less of the story (because I've already written part of it.)

Right now, I'm on outline nujmber 4, which is getting close to the end... only, my third to last outline point (which I wrote months ago) is "Draco tricks Dean" and I can't for the life of me remember what I was referring to there. Like... what did I possibly have in mind?! It doesn't even make any sense.

Anyway, just thought I'd complain about my own foolishness is always believing "I'll remember this idea!" because it's not always true.

In other news, I had a great visit with my sister this past week. I also saw Beauty and the Beast, which was phenominal. All these years, I've been blaming my memorization of the original animated movie on my little sister's love for it as a child... but as we sat in that theatre and the lights dimmed and the movie played and then ended, I realized - nope, it was me all along. *I* love that movie. We actually saw it twice over the weekend, because we could, goddamn it! It was the best the first time around, when you don't know what jokes are coming, but I noticed more details (and heard more lyrics) the second time around. Also, I have a small crush on Josh Gad now, which to be honest, I could never have seen coming going into the film.

Let's see.... what else what else... my sister is buying a condo, and I'm a little jealous that she's managed to sort her life out and I haven't. For some reason, I equate "owning property" with "sorting your life out." I'm not sure, psychologically, why that is. Anyway, maybe one day I'll sort my life out.

How's it going with you?

1. My fitbit hasn't recognized my internet connection since Thursday, apparently. I don't know what the heck is up with that. Anyway, I was brainstorming ways to fix it - but then I was like "do I really need a fitbit?" I mean, it's kinda fun. I also use it to track sleep, and that can be helpful in answering the question "am I depressed because my life sucks, or because I haven't gotten more than 6 hours sleep/night in over a month?" And I guess it kinda guilts me into walking more sometimes... but.... I could also probably figure out a way to guilt myself... like, put it on my calendar that I gotta walk every day, and then when I don't, I'm not allowed to check the box to say I did. Anyway.... maybe it was a fun novelty for a bit and if it's legit broken, I can just say goodbye to it. I've had it for nearly 2 years.... which suddenly seems like eons to me.

2. I really want to see Ghostbusters and the new Star Trek movie, but I am SO BUSY. Seriously, I don't know when the heck I'm going to see those movies, but it probably won't happen until mid August. I am sad.

3. VanCon - I am most likely not going this year. Last year, I was only able to go through the kindness of a stranger in the fandom. Someone who I feel like I let down in the repayment of that favour, btw - but that might be just my own weird issue. ANYWAY... while money isn't as tight as it was last year, it's still pretty tight. We'll see though. Maybe I'll go see Ghostbusters and Star Trek that weekend instead, if they're still in theatres.

4. I've gotten into Check Please! fandom recently. It's enjoyable.

5. God, the world is going to shit, isn't it? What the heck is up with that?

6. I know it's Comic-Con weekend. It's been fun to see the new trailers. I'd be following it all more closely, but like I said I'm SUPER BUSY.

7. Published a short follow-up to my second most popular crossover about a week ago. So far, it's been received pretty nicely. I wish I could write more prolifically - I've got the next demented'verse installment all outlined too... but SO BUSY. Maybe in mid August, once I manage to watch those movies I wanna see?

8. is my favourite. You can't write it backwards.

Hi everybody!

I'm still alive. Sorry I haven't posted in nearly a month. I've been taking a little break from a lot of things, mostly because I haven't been getting enough sleep to do anything productive with my downtime - and also because several things have happened this month that point out how horrible the world is, and it has made me retreat like a turtle into my shell.

HOWEVER... not everything is horrible. My sister, for instance, is a very talented singer-songwriter. She hardly ever records her stuff though, and mostly just performs live in various venues in and around Victoria BC. About a month ago, she manages to record a song and posted it on Soundcloud.

I put it up in a locked post then, because I constantly change my mind about sharing things concerning my personal life... but in anycase... those of you who inquired as to how you can buy the song are in luck! She now has it up on Bandcamp!

She's hoping to raise enough money through the sale of this one to help with recording another one. (Recording is expensive, you guys). Eventually, she wants to record an album, but that's a bit of a ways off financially.

ANYWAY... CHECK IT OUT:
It's really good! And I'm not just saying that because she's the Sammy to my Dean.