hells_half_acre: (Sam strung-out)

I have to research light aircraft for a story I'm writing, except that I'm afraid to type it into google for fear that the Americans will find out and misinterpret and put me on some no-fly list, and then I won't be able to go to my friends' wedding in Bermuda next summer.

I'm also avoiding going to sleep because I don't want to wake up and have to work for 7.5 hours. Today I slacked off so much, I probably only got two hours of work in. It's ridiculous. I'm such a very horrible employee. I keep trying to think of jobs that I wouldn't mind doing, and I keep coming up with nothing. When left to my own devices, I tend to just read or write all day...but I just read predictable romances, because anything not predictable makes me too nervous. And I don't have the self-confidence or discipline to be a writer. Plus, you know, I'm not very good...I mean, all the literary tricks I've ever pulled off have always been by accident.

Once, I wrote a poem about Hamlet and handed it in instead of doing an essay. The teacher gave me an A, because I had used a lot of the same words as Shakespeare used in the play. I was happy for the A, but quite embarrassed by the comment, because I hadn't done it on purpose - I just have a slightly antiquated way of talking sometimes. Hamlet is my favorite tragedy though. There are so many good lines in it. Plus, it's basically a play about procrastination, so I can relate.

Obligatory Supernatural Topic:

You know what kind of annoys me? When people write wee!chester fic where Sam and Dean know that it was the yellow-eyed demon that killed their Mum. Boys and girls, we know for a fact that Sam and Dean did not even know that it was even a demon until mid-way through S1. I can't remember now when they found out about the yellow-eyes, but that might not even have been until Sam SAW it in Salvation. So, ladies and gentlemen, please stop writing fic where Dean is 9 and is all like "Sammy, we'll kill that yellow-eyed Demon and then I'mma going to take you to Disney World, bitch." Because although the sentiment is nice, the mistake ruins it for me. I apologize if this seems unnecessarily harsh.

Seriously, look it up...first half of S1 is all "the thing that killed our Mom", then John calls from that telephone booth and he's like "whazzup, my homies? Muthaf*ckers a DEMON, my bitches!" ....yeah, ok, I took some liberties with the script...I think it was more along the lines of "It's a demon...a pretty nasty one at that."

Ok, so...a good sign for when I should go to bed is when I start doing dialog in really stupid slang. And yeah, work is going to be even worse on less sleep, so I should probably go to sleep now...
 


hells_half_acre: (Hug)
I'm bored. Let's talk about adorable things...

1. Boys are adorable. Girls are too sometimes...but only sometimes.

2. Two of my nieces are 4 years apart. I can't help but picture them as boys and think that that's what Sam and Dean must have been like as kids...only, you know, without my sister around and horribly traumatized..while my brother-law turns into a crazy driven Hunter, instead of being a mild-mannered urban-planner. Anyway, there's this adorable picture my sister has of them, with the older one wrapping her arm around the baby to protect her from a scary scene in a movie they are watching on tv...only the baby is staring wide-eyed and amazed at the TV and isn't scared at all. It's pretty adorable.

3. While out walking tonight, Susie and I saw a raccoon. It followed along with us for a bit. We told it that we couldn't take it home with us and it should go back to the forest. It disappeared between some houses eventually. 

4. You know how in S4, Dean is always seen sleeping on top of the sheets fully clothed with just his jacket thrown over him? I like to think that it's because he's afraid to sleep because of the nightmares...so he stays awake too much, and eventually just passes out fully clothed against his will...and Sam throws his jacket over him and worries.

5. I thought Misha Collins' twitter posts today were adorable - the ones about getting life-insurance policies out on all of his minions because if anything happened to one of us he might be left with no means to care for himself. I am not sure why I found this adorable, but I do.

If you think of any adorable things I might like, let me know. They do not necessarily have to be Supernatural related.


Tired

Jul. 11th, 2009 02:56 am
hells_half_acre: (Sam strung-out)
I figure my problem is that I'm not getting enough sleep. I stay up until 3am and wake up around 10am...that's what? Considering I don't fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow...about 6 hours of sleep? It's not really enough, anyway. I'm supposed to be working 7.5 hour days, but I just can't concentrate, and I end up working only 5 or 6 hours...and even that is 5 or 6 hours of me occasionally nodding off at my desk.

I just can't keep it up. I've got so much to do, so I try to limit sleep, but then I end up not being able to do anything because I'm too damn tired. The only caffeine I can have is one green tea (or cola) a day. Anything stronger gives me a heartattack, and if I have more than one caffinated drink I'll get a caffeine headache when I go into withdrawal.

It'd help if my job wasn't boring as all hell....but we're in a recession, and I don't know what the heck job I would find INTERESTING. Sigh...I'm totally wasting my life.

Anyway, I think I'll start going to bed at 1am, or an hour after everyone else has gone to bed, whichever comes last. (I like my quiet time before bed). And no more naps! Naps, though GIFTS FROM THE GODS, do not help, because they make it so that I'm not tired at 1am and I end up staying up until 3am even though I have to get up at 10am the next day and go play my saxophone in a park, then drive downtown to go to a picnic/concert with my friends and stay up until all hours of the night because that is how we roll.

So, yeah, no more of this! I must sleep more.

In other news...I don't think I'm going to get the next chapter of Damned Demented Demons posted on Sunday :-( ...I just haven't had the time to write. Though, I suppose I could always forgo my buffer rule...sigh, decisions.

Also, on the topic of fanfic that I'm not writing: I had a good idea for a H/C fic today when I woke up from my nap. Mainly because when I was napping I had my recurring napdream where I'm struck part-blind and dizzy and I to hide it, but eventually people find out, but I don't have time to sit around being blind and dizzy because there is DANGER or IMPORTANT THINGS TO BE DONE!  Anyway, it's a plot-bunny. I still haven't finished writing my other plot-bunny though, so who knows if anything will come of this one.

Does anyone else have dreams like that though? Usually I am blind, dizzy, and paralyzed, and there is a stranger in the room, and I can't get my eyes open and I can't move, and I don't know who is there, and I try to scream in the hopes that they will wake me up but I'm unable to make a sound.

Or I just can't keep my eyes open, they keep shutting...and I try and try but it's impossible. I'm too tired. I'm always partially dizzy or maybe just weary, and so I try to walk around blind but someone rearranged the furniture and moved all the lightswitches...and light burns my eyes anyway, but I try.

In today's dream there was an old staircase, and I was doing my best to keep my eyes open, even though everything was blurry tunnel-vision, and then there were four steps missing in the middle of the staircase, and we were three stories up...and the people in my dream just said, "yeah, the stairs collapsed this morning. We'll have to call the landlord." And man, I just felt like crying, because I could see the gap by the changes in light, but dude? How does a blind person leap UP a four-stair gap in an old staircase?

So yeah, does anyone else have those dreams?  Or am I just insane?
 


hells_half_acre: (Bobby says we're morons)

My little sister just sent me a message saying "Jonathan Rhys Meyers will kill us all."

And this picture:


 

LMAO!
hells_half_acre: (Huh)

My SPN/HP Epic:
I'm a little stuck on my epic SPN/HP story. It's not a horrible stuck point, and I've seen it coming for ages...but hey, this is what I get for posting a WIP to a community. I told the people who read it that I'd aim to update it Thursday, but now I'm thinking that it might have to wait until the weekend. So, sorry about that! I WILL finish the thing though, it's just that these last few chapters are going to be hella tricky and I still have to work for a living. You know who I forgot about my love for? - Neville Longbottom. Man, I kinda wish there was a way to work him into my epic, but I alas...

Slash and Fanfic
I've noticed lately that I'm really not liking slash at all anymore. It's funny, when I was a teenager it was basically the only fanfic I read. (Probably due to sex still being somewhat of an intriguing mystery)...then in recent years, I've only liked it when it fits well with the story (or it's a first-time fic, because everyone is a sucker for the discovery of love)...but the more I get into Supernatural, the more I really only like friendship/bromance-fics.

Friendship is awesome, and the more I read slash the more it sort of feels like it is CHEAPENING friendship, rather than enhancing it, or making it more "intense" as that Tosenburger article states. Does no one appreciate friendship anymore? Just because it doesn't lead to orgasms? Orgasms are overrated anyway - I mean, the oxytocin is nice, I suppose, but that's about all they have going for them. Drugs, man...you're all addicted to drugs.

Ok...that got a bit weird.

Regionalisms of Canada:
"What're you at? I'll come where you're to."

God, I miss Newfoundland sometimes. The title of this post and the above sentence are something you would hear there. It means "What are you doing/where are you? I'll come to where you are." I had an awesome girlfriend when I was in Newfoundland. She doesn't have a very strong accent, but she would say the above sentence to me and I loved it.

Other Fic Ideas:
If anyone has been keeping track, you may have noticed that there are two fic ideas I mentioned as far back as January that I haven't written yet. I do not think I'm going to. The first idea has been overdone - ie: exploring Dean's role as parent to Sam - really, if I were to do anything with this, I would probably do some sort of meta, because it's been overdone in fic and there is far too much to say to make it poetic. It has also probably been overdone in meta too though, so I probably won't even do that.

The second idea...well I could POSSIBLY still do it. It was to be a piece about Dean's Amulet from Bobby's POV. I'm putting it on the backburner for now to think on it somemore, I guess. I think part of me is wondering if more will be revealed in time on the show about the Amulet. I mean, we know it's sentimental importance, but we don't know why Bobby told Sam that it was "real special." I'm such a stickler for canon, I guess part of me doesn't want to write something just to have it disproved or negated by the show.

Sleeping Patterns:
Mine are horrible. I really should fix this...but I like the quiet of midnight-3am...and I like naps. Man, how I love naps. Naps are my oxytocin. This does not bode well for me ever being able to hold down a regular job though...so I really SHOULD fix my sleeping patterns. Maybe when I move to Vancouver. In Vancouver, 3am would be midnight - and that's a pretty normal time to go to sleep...and 11am would be 8am, which is a pretty normal time to wake up...and my afternoon nap would be at lunch time, which is a pretty normal time to have lunch (and I guess sleep in my car or drink some tea?).
hells_half_acre: (Impala Under Bridge)

I've run out of things to do. I already wrote another chapter of my HP/SPN epic (though, I think I'm going to edit part of it out, because man, I don't have to go into EVERY detail). I told the readers that the next part would be posted on Thursday, but I almost feel like posting it now just because I have nothing else to do. Except I want to keep my 3-5 chapter buffer, so I won't...sorry.

But yeah...usually around this time of night I've stumbled upon someone else's 10+ chapter epic and I'm all engrossed and end up staying up until 4am - only getting 5 hours of sleep and starting work late the next day and in general doing a half-assed job of living my life...but not tonight! Tonight I'm just sitting around bored. I'm HP/SPNed out.

I need more icons too...I can have 35 now and I only have 17. I need one for when I'm surprised at something...and I need another one that's for approving of something...and I want more funny ones. I have that whole folder of icons on my computer, but a lot of them are variations on the same theme. For instance I have a variety of wee!chester ones, but how many different wee!chester icons does one need? I've got a ton of the boys together, because I like the boys together, but I already have at least three icons of the boys together. I need on of John, but I have no found the perfect one yet.

Such is life. I should probably go exploring in some icon community's archives.

I think my real problem tonight is that I'm exhausted, but like normal, I am avoiding sleep for no other reason than I want to put off working tomorrow.

Like I said, boring.

Insomnia

Jan. 3rd, 2009 12:49 am
hells_half_acre: (Headdesk)

Do you ever get into moods when you really just don't want to sleep? I really just don't want to sleep. I have to get up at 9am tomorrow and drive for an hour, then maybe I can have a nap...still, I should go to bed. This happens to me occasionally, and by 'occasionally', I mean 'all the time'. My insomnia is purely psychological. I just don't feel like sleeping. Like I don't want it to be tomorrow or something, and I think that I can hold it off by staying out of bed....

I think I might watch another episode of Supernatural....would you think less of me? I'm already on disc 4 of season 2 and I've not even had the DVDs for a month! What am I going to do when I've rewatched it all?! What then?!

Mind you, my Epic-Trip of Awesomeness is coming up...so that will give me something non-Supernatural to do for six weeks. I wonder if I will go through withdrawal. I wonder if I will force my friend in China to download the seasons he hasn't seen, and I will watch it all for a third time..and soon I will be able to repeat back episodes and my family will begin to question my mental health (more than they do already)...

Maybe I should just go to sleep.

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