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[personal profile] hells_half_acre
I hope everyone's week is going a little better than mine!

Not that anything is really wrong, it's just that overall, I've had kind of a bad week... so, I hope you'll forgive me if my energy isn't up on this one. Though I'll try my best! I wasn't drinking tonight, because I fell yesterday and hurt my left knee and right ankle, and as a result decided that I'd prefer to drive to my friend's place rather than walk. :P So, no booze for me!

Other than that, business as usual! Let's start this....

We begin in Kansas City, MI, at Christmas. Where monsters are eating people. They have weird teeth... I didn't recognize them as werewolf teeth, but maybe they were?

"Michael is a lady now!" is what my notes say, but really Michael is still just Michael and is now in a female vessel. Her monster lackey brings in two new monsters who want to be suped up, and one of them is Garth! Oh no Garth! Michael knows that he is a friend of Dean's, and he doesn't deny it, but he tells him that he needs to protect his "little girl" and needs to be on the winning side of the war. I suspect he is a spy! (and I am correct)

"I hope he doesn't die" I tell my friend. She agrees.

Jack is eating cookie cereal in the dark, as you do. Castiel finds him and Jack is like "Don't tell Sam!" and I think for a moment that Jack is secretly eating SAM'S cookie cereal... but then I realize that I'm thinking of Jack and Sam as siblings, not parent-child, and sure enough, Sam is against cookie cereal because it'll rot Jack's teeth. So, so much for discovering that Sam had a secret love of cookie cereal and not sharing!

Castiel asks Jack why he's not sleeping (both me and my friend remember that Jack doesn't sleep more than a couple of hours a night anyway.... but, that was when he was graced-up, so maybe as a more 'human' nephilim, he sleeps more.). Castiel wonders if Jack is overwhelmed with dying and coming back again - and affirms to Jack that it's something they've all done, and it's a rite-of-passage of sorts. Jack, as it turns out, is worried about his mother in Heaven. He thought Heaven was supposed to be perfect and safe. Castiel laughs like "oh you sweet summer child" - but he reassures Jack that Naomi will protect the souls in Heaven and he doesn't have to worry.

Jack is also wondering why Castiel doesn't want Sam and Dean to know about the deal he made. Castiel tells him that he just doesn't want them to know. Jack is all like "you did that for me" and I want to dive into the TV and say "No, Jack, he did it for HIMSELF - you're the one that will have to live without him, whereas Cas won't have to live without you." But, of course, TV hasn't advanced to that level of interaction yet, so nothing of that sort is actually said. Instead, Castiel uses my line from last week - pointing out that their lives are shit and he's unlikely to be happy anytime soon, so don't worry.

Castiel then helps himself to cookie cereal, and Jack is like "did you steal the decoder ring?" and Castiel is like "I will not confirm or deny... but the code was Cookietacular" and everything is adorable and nothing hurts. Episode over. What a heart warming Christmas episode. Thanks for stopping by.

Oh... alright, it doesn't end there.

Instead, we find out that I'm right - Garth is a mole planted by Sam to get info on Michael. The only hitch is that now Michael wants Garth to drink the archangel grace and get suped up and become his minion. "Balls" indeed, Garth.

Dean is sure that Garth will be okay, which is odd, because he's usually the pessimistic one - but he DOES switch when Sam starts freaking out - and Sam is super worried he's about to get Garth killed after pulling him out of retirement. Sam, sweetheart, DON'T PULL PEOPLE OUT OF RETIREMENT, YOU NINNY!

Ketch calls to regale Jack with stories... actually, no, he tells them that the "magic egg" (which, oh my god, I had to write that egg into my working_timeline just now, and I tried to think of ANYWAY to not mention it as a "magic egg" because HONESTLY, it's the STUPIDEST THING. And yes, I'm supposed to be being positive, I know...sorry, I got distracted by... eggs.

So, as I was saying, Ketch tells them that the egg-gizmo that they used to separate Lucifer from his vessel before was finally tracked down and shipped to them, and it'll be delivered "the day after tomorrow between 2-6 pm" the problem is that they need it NOW. So, everyone is awkward.

Back with Garth, he finds out that 1 in 7 monsters explode. He tries to fake taking the potion thing, but Michael knows a fake-out when he sees one, and stares at Garth until he swallows. :(

Then Garth overhears Michael's plans... probably on purpose. And finds out that Kaia is outside of Omaha at a recycling facility.

Meanwhile, Sam finds out that the package Ketch sent is in Joplin, MI, at a facility for the weekend/holiday.

Garth calls and lies to Sam about being able to fake take the potion, and then tells Sam all about Michael's plan to take over the city with Monsters on Christmas eve. (I'm pretty sure it was implied to be Christmas eve, right? Dean said everyone would be home waiting for Santa.)

Anyway, they decide to divide and conquer. Cas and Dean are going to get the spear, Sam and Jack are going to get the egg.

Dean and Cas drive out to the recycle facility. Cas remarks on how happy Dean seems to be - that the tape deck is currently broken in the Impala, and Dean didn't even complain about the silent drive. (Also, something being broken in the Impala is a pretty heavy clue about what's going to happen at the end of the episode - though, in truth, I saw that coming based on Jensen's continued promise that we hadn't seen the last of him playing Michael.) ANYWAY, Dean goes on about how he's just REALLY JAZZED about killing Michael. Because he gets it now - what drowning in your own head feels like, and yeah - he just really wants to kill Michael.

Then they pull their guns and go into the facility... and I'm like "if they know it's Dark!Kaia, why pull the guns? But then I remembered that they were half expecting to run into Michael's forces.

Sam and Jack, meanwhile, break into the package facility. Jack's taught himself to lockpick from the internet. It's all adorable.

Back with Dean and Cas, they find the recycling facility supposedly empty - but the food is still warm on the cookstove. Did Michael beat them here? There didn't seem to be signs of a struggle.

Sam and Jack get the package, but them WHAMMO, Sam gets hit by a bat, and Jack's dragged away by goons, and Michael is there - now with the egg in his hand. How did he know they would be there (I don't actually ask, because this reeks of them being set-up purposefully by information being fed to their known spy). Sam goes in to try to stab Michael, because Michael is going to kill him anyway - but Michael just whammos him back into the truck, and then MELTS THE EGG. And that's my positive right there! Stupid magical macguffin shaped like an egg is gone. Of course, while that's a positive for me, because I don't like that particular plot device - it's a big negative for Sam.

Dean and Cas try to call Sam and don't get an answer. Garth calls them when he can't get in touch with Sam and brings them up to speed on the situation - but gets himself caught in the process.

Dark!Kaia (who I'm just going to start calling Kaia, since she's the only Kaia left) appears then. She tells them that she's not going to give them the spear, but Dean explains about how his family is in danger and he NEEDS it - it's the only thing that can stop Michael, who tortured Dean AND Kaia. Kaia wants something in return - she wants to be able to go home. The magic she used to get from her realm and this one doesn't work in this universe. Dean promises her that Jack can do it, even though we all know he can't. She doesn't trust them, but Cas points out that they can't trust her either - that there was a reason she came into their world, and now there is a reason she suddenly wants to go back, and they're not asking what those reasons are even though they agreed to help her. So, Kaia gives them the spear, but tells them that if they don't give it back, she'll hunt them down and kill them.

And listen... I'm glad they have the spear and whatnot, but here's a novel idea - why not take both the spear and the spear WIELDER! Seriously, Kaia is an EXPERT at that thing, she's gotten close enough to stab Michael before - why give the spear to Dean, who is NOTABLY WORSE AT HANDLING IT THAN SHE IS?! This isn't a knock on Dean, who is fairly proficient at all weapons, but Kaia is a MASTER with that thing. Yarr... I think watching the new series of Doctor Who and the level in which The Doctor uses everyone on the team to their best strengths ALWAYS has started rubbing off on how I view other shows. I know Dean wants to be the one to kill Michael, and maybe that's the point of them doing this - maybe they're PURPOSEFULLY making the point that wanting to do it himself is his undoing. That if he had just let go of that need, had instead focused on wanting Michael dead just IN GENERAL and by whatever means made the most logical sense, he would have had more success.

Anyway... off track.

Sam calls and breaks the news that they have both lost the egg, and lost Jack. And that Michael seems to be playing them. Sam's going to head to "Hitomi Plaza" which I thought was just Sam making a Die Hard reference, but apparently it's a built in episodic Die Hard reference, because it's the actual name they used for the tower in Kansas City that Michael is staying in. Then Cas is like "Don't go in alone!" and Sam is like "Get here fast then" and we all know he's going in alone...

Meanwhile, Michael and Jack have a talk. Michael tells him about the plan to turn the city. Jack is like "why am I hear and why are you telling me this?" and Michael is all like "we're family" and Jack is like "No, my uncle is in the cage" then Michael gives a speech about how Jack is new and hasn't experience time yet, but he will at Michael's side - and as time goes on, his loyalty to the Winchesters will fade, and he'll become more and more like Michael - seeing everyone less powerful than themselves like insignificant ants, etc. Jack tells Michael that the Winchesters will come for him.

I've gone on and on about it before in this LJ, but I like Michael's speech because it reminds me of this fantastic speech in the book Immortal Lycanthropes, about morality as fashion and the impossibility of living forever and never doing anything immoral or bad.

Sam arrives at Hitomi Plaza, which is indeed called that, and starts killing monsters. It's a little TOO easy to get to the top of find Jack. Garth comes upon them too, and when they get back down to the parking garage, that's when the jig is up for Garth, who is being controlled by Michael - and made to attack both Jack and Sam. Thankfully, Sam eventually gets him in a sleeper hold, and then they tie him up and put him in the trunk of the Impala once Dean and Cas arrive. Sam is disappointed that Garth lied to him, but he hopes that once they kill Michael, maybe his hold on Garth will end.

They've set up hunters throughout the city to help with the monster attack. And meanwhile, Dean, Sam, Cas, and Jack, all agree that they're walking directly into a very obvious trap, and then they do it anyway, while Beethoven's 9th plays in A Clockwork Orange tribute. Having never seen A Clockwork Orange, I can't testify to this, but my friend has, and she was laughing at the reference, though pointed out that someone would have to cut Castiel's legs off if they were going to go all in. I have no idea what she's talking about, and also don't care to, so don't bother informing me. A Clockwork Orange is not my cup of tea.

Michael is waiting, and doing that thing where he's like "I'm gonna look cool when they come in - Imma sit like this... no wait, too stiff, I'm going to lean back, yeah... that's better... no wait! I'm going to get up and greet them, this is taking too long!" He sense Castiel first and goes into the hall to find him, beating him up out there for a bit before they come back into the main room - this is where Jack, Sam, and Dean, have taken up their positions. Sam and Jack leap out in order to have Michael put his back to the closet Dean is hiding in - but the execution is too slow, and Michael turns in time to deflect the attack - he gets cut on the arm, but then disarms Dean. Sam then throws the spear BACK to Dean (should have picked it up yourself Sam, even though I know Michael gave you severe stomach cramps or something that had you unable to stand) and Dean goes back on the attack, getting Michael at spear-point again. Sadly, Dean either draws it out too long, or is already under Michael's sway, because Michael uses the cracked door he left in Dean's mind to repossess Dean, and break the spear (Kaia is going to be PISSED).

This was, apparently, all a ruse to repossess Dean in a manner that would allow Michael to bury him even deeper in his mind, so that he'd stop fighting so much. I'm not sure how exactly that's supposed to work, but it apparently did! Because Michael is quiet pleased with himself. Also, it is GODDAMN JARRING to have a more Jensen-y voice come out of Dean. Like, his voice just raises and octave, and besides being a bit too smooth to be actually Jensen (whose natural speaking voice is much more casually LA-influenced Texan) it's clearly not Dean, and SUPER WEIRD.

And them Michael snaps his fingers to start the monster-taking of Kansas City and we won't find out anyone's fate until January 27th!

So, while the episode was predictable from my end, and our heroes made some boneheaded moves - I was VERY PLEASED that Garth is still alive, and I'm interested to see what they're plans will be now that their magic macguffins are gone.


So, let me know what you think in comments! You know the rules.




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