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hells_half_acreI'm not doing a ficlet today, because
A)I can't think of anything to go with today's prompt. (Which seem to be a song about being on a city bus.)
B)I'm behind on work and I'm thinking I'll probably have to work until 11pm or something ridiculous to make up for it.
On the one hand, I could just churn out anything so that I successfully post a ficlet on every single day in April... but I find that I actually do care a little bit about the quality of the fics, so I don't want to do that.
So, instead, how about we discuss something...
My younger sister thinks that I should share my fanfiction writing (not this blog, but my AO3 account) with my friends/family on facebook. I'm against this for various reasons, but she thinks they're all stupid reasons and I should do it anyway. Now, my mum already knows about and reads this blog, and I've already shared my AO3 account with my eldest sister. My other older sister knows that I write fanfiction (she's seen the bound books that a fan made of my demented'verse), but she's never asked to read it (or maybe she has, and I sent her the link and I've just forgotten.)
Now, my reasoning is that if people that already know that I write fanfiction were interested, they would ask for links (as my eldest/youngest sister have done.) My younger sister argument to that was that she assumed because I didn't OFFER the links, that I didn't want her to read it, and it made her sad. But, in my mind, if you want a book, you go buy it from the author - you don't wait for authors to show up at your door and offer you their books. Anyway... that's a whole separate argument and really reflects more the differences in our styles of interactions with the world around us.
What I DID want to ask though was how you all felt about the whole Fandom/IRL divide?
Do you keep your fandom life and your "real" life completely separate? (As I try to.) Why, why not? Do you think they SHOULD be separate?
Personally, I like to keep them separate. I (rarely) friend fandom friends on facebook, since I see FB as mainly a place to keep in touch with old-school mates and family. Twitter is a bit more of a hodge podge though, but because of that I'm never exactly sure what to say on it.
I used to have a non-fandom LJ, but it's been inactive for years, because there's more engagement over here - and I think I also just grew out of the narcissistic stage in life where I thought people might care about my inner thoughts. (Blogging is so '00s).
Now, the reasons I like to keep everything separate is because...
A) I've always liked to keep things separated from each other. I even have different groups of RL friends, and I get really uncomfortable when they come into contact with each other.
B) Since I first found online fandom back in the 90s, it just seemed like something that was supposed to be a secret.... like fight club. :P I don't know if that's a product of the whole "fan shame" thing or if it's a product of the fact that people who aren't in fandom just honestly don't understand and/or care about anything fandom related. (My younger sister argues that they would care about my fanfiction because it's my WRITING and that's interesting - but I think she just says that because she's very sweet and she cares about my writing despite not watching the shows that I write about... other people wouldn't, I don't think.)
C) When I HAVE told other people about my fanfiction/fandom activities, they've sometimes started trying to figure out how I can monetize it.... which, you know, it's nice that they're trying to figure out how to get me a career that I actually enjoy, but that goes against like ALL THE CODES OF CONDUCT OF FANDOM, and sometimes I've had quite a hard time getting that message across. You can monetize fanart, not fanfiction, and unless I start putting in years of study, I'm not going to suddenly become a monetized fanartist. (And seriously, "just change the names of the characters in the fanfiction, it worked for Fifty Shades of Grey" - and then I've gotta explain the difference between AU-writers and canon-writers.... and it just goes on and on. So, maybe this reason is: TOO MUCH EXPLAINING IS ANNOYING!
D) I'm a very weirdly selectively private person. I mean, I'll happily answer basically any question honestly, but I don't like offering information about myself... especially when it comes to my family for some odd reason. Like, I just don't want them to know things about me. It's really really weird. Basically, I probably have psychological problems when it comes to issues of vulnerability or some such psychobabble. I like to live secret lives... I think it's part of the reason I don't date - I honestly DON'T want to share my life with anyone. :P
Anyway, I'd be interested to here how you feel about the issue. Should we be coming out of the fandom closet, or is that door there for a reason?
A)I can't think of anything to go with today's prompt. (Which seem to be a song about being on a city bus.)
B)I'm behind on work and I'm thinking I'll probably have to work until 11pm or something ridiculous to make up for it.
On the one hand, I could just churn out anything so that I successfully post a ficlet on every single day in April... but I find that I actually do care a little bit about the quality of the fics, so I don't want to do that.
So, instead, how about we discuss something...
My younger sister thinks that I should share my fanfiction writing (not this blog, but my AO3 account) with my friends/family on facebook. I'm against this for various reasons, but she thinks they're all stupid reasons and I should do it anyway. Now, my mum already knows about and reads this blog, and I've already shared my AO3 account with my eldest sister. My other older sister knows that I write fanfiction (she's seen the bound books that a fan made of my demented'verse), but she's never asked to read it (or maybe she has, and I sent her the link and I've just forgotten.)
Now, my reasoning is that if people that already know that I write fanfiction were interested, they would ask for links (as my eldest/youngest sister have done.) My younger sister argument to that was that she assumed because I didn't OFFER the links, that I didn't want her to read it, and it made her sad. But, in my mind, if you want a book, you go buy it from the author - you don't wait for authors to show up at your door and offer you their books. Anyway... that's a whole separate argument and really reflects more the differences in our styles of interactions with the world around us.
What I DID want to ask though was how you all felt about the whole Fandom/IRL divide?
Do you keep your fandom life and your "real" life completely separate? (As I try to.) Why, why not? Do you think they SHOULD be separate?
Personally, I like to keep them separate. I (rarely) friend fandom friends on facebook, since I see FB as mainly a place to keep in touch with old-school mates and family. Twitter is a bit more of a hodge podge though, but because of that I'm never exactly sure what to say on it.
I used to have a non-fandom LJ, but it's been inactive for years, because there's more engagement over here - and I think I also just grew out of the narcissistic stage in life where I thought people might care about my inner thoughts. (Blogging is so '00s).
Now, the reasons I like to keep everything separate is because...
A) I've always liked to keep things separated from each other. I even have different groups of RL friends, and I get really uncomfortable when they come into contact with each other.
B) Since I first found online fandom back in the 90s, it just seemed like something that was supposed to be a secret.... like fight club. :P I don't know if that's a product of the whole "fan shame" thing or if it's a product of the fact that people who aren't in fandom just honestly don't understand and/or care about anything fandom related. (My younger sister argues that they would care about my fanfiction because it's my WRITING and that's interesting - but I think she just says that because she's very sweet and she cares about my writing despite not watching the shows that I write about... other people wouldn't, I don't think.)
C) When I HAVE told other people about my fanfiction/fandom activities, they've sometimes started trying to figure out how I can monetize it.... which, you know, it's nice that they're trying to figure out how to get me a career that I actually enjoy, but that goes against like ALL THE CODES OF CONDUCT OF FANDOM, and sometimes I've had quite a hard time getting that message across. You can monetize fanart, not fanfiction, and unless I start putting in years of study, I'm not going to suddenly become a monetized fanartist. (And seriously, "just change the names of the characters in the fanfiction, it worked for Fifty Shades of Grey" - and then I've gotta explain the difference between AU-writers and canon-writers.... and it just goes on and on. So, maybe this reason is: TOO MUCH EXPLAINING IS ANNOYING!
D) I'm a very weirdly selectively private person. I mean, I'll happily answer basically any question honestly, but I don't like offering information about myself... especially when it comes to my family for some odd reason. Like, I just don't want them to know things about me. It's really really weird. Basically, I probably have psychological problems when it comes to issues of vulnerability or some such psychobabble. I like to live secret lives... I think it's part of the reason I don't date - I honestly DON'T want to share my life with anyone. :P
Anyway, I'd be interested to here how you feel about the issue. Should we be coming out of the fandom closet, or is that door there for a reason?
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no subject
Date: 2013-05-10 06:01 pm (UTC)I think you have the healthiest sounding life that I've heard so far! Hahaha... that's really cool though, and I think you hit the nail on the head with this:
For me, if I don't trust them enough to know about my fandom life, I probably don't like them enough to let them into my RL either.
Because when it comes right down to it, the reason I DON'T share - the reason I keep fandom and RL separate - is there is a slew of people IRL who I don't want to know about me. These are people that are in my family or are acquaintances whom I don't actually trust at all.
It's not so much about liking or disliking them (though some of them I do dislike), it's about not trusting them... and I'm willing to admit that I do have some issues around trusting people.
So why am I friends with these people IRL? I'm too polite to cut them out. It's easier to let my Dad believe that he's part of my life than to deal with the emotional fallout and manipulation (from his end) that being honest with him would bring.
But that doesn't mean I talk about it much if the person doesn't share an interest. If it's not their thing, that's fine.
And this is another huge point. I DO casually mention to those RL people that I like that I'm involved in fandom - after all, if they like me enough, it's pretty hard not to notice. :P If they have an interest in it too, or are curious, I'll explain more or send them a link (and I DO usually link to my own stuff, because my stuff is all pretty safe... though now I link them to AO3 rather than here). But for the most part, like everything, if they aren't interested, then all they know is that I'm involved somehow and we leave it at that.
So, I guess I'm a bit of a mix between being completely separate and being integrated. I'm more comfortable when things are separated, because then I can control who knows what. Which, yeah, is another one of my issues: control. :P
no subject
Date: 2013-05-12 06:32 pm (UTC)lol. This is where we differ. I have trouble maintaining connections after people are out of my day to day life anyway, so I don't still have contact with anyone from high school or college anyway. I've changed states since starting my adult life, so it's not like I'm ever going to run into them at the grocery store, and the only family I have here are my husband's parents, whom I like more than mine. I've been at BN my entire time in this state, so everyone who knows me knows me through books in the first place. If they're not a reader, I can't imagine why they would know who I am anyway.
Reading through all the comments here, it seems like not being on Facebook may be another reason I don't struggle with those boundaries as much as most people do. I don't want to be found by people from my past, whom I neither want to include in my life nor obviously snub. The idea of someone from elementary school finding and friending me terrifies me. (Or god forbid, my mom ever figures out how the internet works.) I don't want casual connections I can't control with people who aren't really my friends, so I just don't play. (Yeah, control is probably one of my issues too.)
no subject
Date: 2013-05-12 08:02 pm (UTC)Oh man, THIS. Yes, to all of this. I really loathe facebook. When I first got it, it was an easily controlled site - I was invited by an ex-lover who I was still on really friendly terms with, and for the first few months I had it, when it was just my closest friends, it was a great thing! Then suddenly more and more people were on it, and I had to start watching what I said, start deleting old conversations as I added new people... I have a VERY unique name, so soon old High School acquaintances were finding me and even elementary school people... and I just didn't have that part of me built up yet where I could say, "Listen, I don't actually want to social network with you! No offense!"
I mean, on the one hand, it's a great way to keep up with the people that I DO care about - my siblings and my closest friends, but on the other hand, those interactions are always so superficial because of everyone "listening in." And I'd ditch it completely, but I still seeing people's pictures and hearing the superficial news...
Blah, it's a quagmire, I tell you. Stay off of it if you've managed to so far.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 04:56 am (UTC)