![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hells_half_acreI'm not used to having nothing to do anymore. I've had school hanging over my head for a whole year. As soon as it ended I had visitors to entertain, then I had the journey home to undertake. Now there is job searching to do, but at some point in the day you just have to decide to see if any new jobs are posted tomorrow. I don't really feel like reading. I think I'm sort of tired of it. I could unpack...but it seems a rather mundane thing to do.
I'll have to think of something. Be more creative. I never feel creative at home. Maybe it has to do with this fung shui stuff, and the fact that the toilets are in the creativity section of my mother's house. Most likely it's just because I'm weird. Just because I don't want to think or feel for a bit. I think my main problem has always been that it's impossible to take a vacation from myself. It's impossible to stop my thoughts and worry about nothing at all.
My thoughts run in circles. How do you know the difference between wanting something because you want it and wanting something because you are expected to want it? How do you figure out what career or location would make you happy, when the only things that make you happy have nothing to do with careers or locations?
My little sister said that I should do what I'm good at. Then she said I was good at friendship. Even then, I thought, I'm only good with some of them.
I'll have to think of something. Be more creative. I never feel creative at home. Maybe it has to do with this fung shui stuff, and the fact that the toilets are in the creativity section of my mother's house. Most likely it's just because I'm weird. Just because I don't want to think or feel for a bit. I think my main problem has always been that it's impossible to take a vacation from myself. It's impossible to stop my thoughts and worry about nothing at all.
My thoughts run in circles. How do you know the difference between wanting something because you want it and wanting something because you are expected to want it? How do you figure out what career or location would make you happy, when the only things that make you happy have nothing to do with careers or locations?
My little sister said that I should do what I'm good at. Then she said I was good at friendship. Even then, I thought, I'm only good with some of them.
