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I am a cement-mixer of emotions
Aug. 9th, 2010 06:09 pm1. Someone I know died. We had a professional relationship 4 years or so ago, and had been out to beer a few times (in the context of professionalism of course). I posted a link to a newspaper article about his death (because he was a notable dude) on facebook. I expected some "that's too bad"s...but instead I got a lot of "I'm sorry"s. Which I thought was odd. Am I supposed to be sadder? I mean, it's sad...but it's not really a loss for me, you know? I hadn't spoken to him in years. I never know how sad I'm supposed to be when people die. I wasn't really sad when my grandparents died...does that make me a horrible person? When my cat was hit by a car and killed, I sobbed uncontrollably and slept for three days. I need some sort of chart that tells me what the socially acceptable emotional responses are to various life-events.
2. I'm finally getting to the chapters in Vile Violent Vacations that I've been writing in my head for almost a whole year. I'm hoping that once I hit them, the writing will go much faster (after all, I have gone over these scenes mentally countless times). That being said, because I know I'm getting close, finishing the chapter before I hit them is going at a snails pace, because I JUST WANT TO GET THERE. Seriously, these scenes are going to kick ass (I hope).
3. So, as I mentioned before, I lost my contract with the gov't. I'm still employed with the contracting company, and they MIGHT transfer me over to another project....but.... I was going to get another part-time job at the end of August anyway, but now I'm wondering if I should try to find another full time job...or if perhaps I'll get back to Vancouver, meet with the contracting company about transferring me to another project, only to have them tell me that they really don't have a place for me and I should find another full time job. The last time I was unemployed, I was unemployed for a full-year...so part of me is really freaking out about being unemployed. That being said, I was REALLY picky that year - this time I can just take whatever the heck receptionist position I can find. Also, I really hated my job and have been wanting to find a new one for almost two years...so, really, this is probably just the push I need.
4. I just got back from the dentist and my teeth are great and "beautiful" and I am probably TOO proud about this fact....but I am seriously SUPER PROUD of myself for having great teeth. My Mum was all like "it's genetics!" but I'm telling you - I brush and floss and I don't drink pop...and I think I have the right to be super proud of my teeth, thank you very much. I practically have movie-star teeth!
2. I'm finally getting to the chapters in Vile Violent Vacations that I've been writing in my head for almost a whole year. I'm hoping that once I hit them, the writing will go much faster (after all, I have gone over these scenes mentally countless times). That being said, because I know I'm getting close, finishing the chapter before I hit them is going at a snails pace, because I JUST WANT TO GET THERE. Seriously, these scenes are going to kick ass (I hope).
3. So, as I mentioned before, I lost my contract with the gov't. I'm still employed with the contracting company, and they MIGHT transfer me over to another project....but.... I was going to get another part-time job at the end of August anyway, but now I'm wondering if I should try to find another full time job...or if perhaps I'll get back to Vancouver, meet with the contracting company about transferring me to another project, only to have them tell me that they really don't have a place for me and I should find another full time job. The last time I was unemployed, I was unemployed for a full-year...so part of me is really freaking out about being unemployed. That being said, I was REALLY picky that year - this time I can just take whatever the heck receptionist position I can find. Also, I really hated my job and have been wanting to find a new one for almost two years...so, really, this is probably just the push I need.
4. I just got back from the dentist and my teeth are great and "beautiful" and I am probably TOO proud about this fact....but I am seriously SUPER PROUD of myself for having great teeth. My Mum was all like "it's genetics!" but I'm telling you - I brush and floss and I don't drink pop...and I think I have the right to be super proud of my teeth, thank you very much. I practically have movie-star teeth!
