hells_half_acre: (l'interpide)
I was exhausted. I'd been sleeping until 3pm and there it was 10am and I was awake. It's funny where your mind goes when you are tired. I was so tired that I felt somewhat delirious. I was looking out the window admiring how much smaller everything seems when there are no leaves on the trees. I couldn't help but miss Newfoundland somewhat. In Newfoundland there are either no trees or all evergreens, so things don't change size, they just look colder.

My thoughts turned to a few days before, when it had snowed. It had just snowed one or two centimeters, but it was enough to make me realise that I was going to be facing another Ontario winter shortly. Sometimes winter scares me. It doesn't make much sense when I think of it logically. We all live in heated homes and buy food at the grocery store. Sometimes when it snows though, I get weird thoughts of 'Shit, everything is dead! Where will we get fresh food when supplies run out?!' The food in the grocery store is shipped in from magic-town. These aren't thoughts that modern people are supposed to have. Still, every once in a while I have small panic attacks, picturing myself half frozen trying to hunt snow rabbit in a blizzard, cursing the gods for a poor harvest. The snow was pretty though, and the cold is something that you get used to, even sometimes grow to miss. It looked like Christmas and it was only the second of November.

My train of thought went from Christmas to the list of books I had in my bag. I remembered that I had to check out the authors of most of them. That's the problem with buying history books. You have to make sure the authors know what the hell they are talking about. I didn't want to end up with another Goldhagen. People like him are fine for contrasting ideas, but you don't want to read a whole book of their unsupported theories. One of the books is about WWII and why it was that Hitler lost. People take it for granted that he lost. They think he lost because he was evil and good always triumph's over evil. That's not always the case though, really, sometimes evil just makes some really stupid mistakes.

'Like invading the Caucasus,' I thought to myself. 'No, wait, that's not right. It was the other way 'round. It was Stalingrad. The mistake was trying to take Stalingrad, not the Caucasus. They needed the Caucasus.' Suddenly I realised that I knew the word "Caucasus," in my tired state I had completely forgotten that I had been trying to remember the word for months. Of all the things to forget, the most annoying is the name of a mountain range and a historic strategically-important place. It's weird the things you suddenly remember when you are deliriously tired. Even given how exhausted I was, I was quite relieved I hadn't  had to look it up. In my joy I said it out loud in the car.

"The Caucasus! That's what it is!"

"What?" My Mum asked.

"I had forgotten the name of it. The Caucasus. It's in southern Russia. It's important for the Second World War," I replied.

"Is that where the word "caucasian" comes from?" she asked. I hadn't considered that before. It made sense.

"I guess it is!"

Did that mean that all white people come from southern Russia? Or did they just steal the term from there. Is it like anti-Semitism referring to hatred of Jews, even though semitic doesn't actually have anything to do with the Jewish religion nor solely refer to Jews in its original meaning. The Indo-european language root originated in Belarus, which is also part of Russia, or at least was last time I checked. Did it make sense that if european language originated in Russia, so did Europeans? All of them? Maybe they were born in the Caucasus and had to travel north to Belarus before they learned to speak. It all seemed a little ridiculous.

"I'll look it up when I get home," I added. "Along with why we only make syrup from maple trees."

I suddenly had the thought that it was highly unlikely I'd get any real writing done until I slept.


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