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[personal profile] hells_half_acre
Hello,

So, there's a fair bit of background to explain first, so let's get that done.

1. I'm (apparently) hilarious on FB.  Although my FB is on lockdown and I only have IRL friends and family on there (for the most part), so I don't have proof of this. I've been told several times by one friend that I should publish my statuses in a book. I've been told by another friend that I should turn my statuses into webcomics/cartoons, etc.

2. An old friend of mine does the self-publishing thing constantly - mostly with travel books, but also with... life-betterment books? I don't know what you call those things. Like... creative journaling, and how to be a productive writer, and stuff like that. Anyway, her latest kick is http://www.creativemermaids.com/ - anyway, if you watch her latest video there (Jun 16th), you can sort of see where my mind is at.

SO.......

What is boils down to is that my friend thinks that what I should do is make myself an Author page on FB, do weekly videos (because that's what she's doing right now, so she's bias towards that format) and sort of leverage my fanfiction audience so that when I eventually finish writing my epic fantasty novel, I'll have built up an audience for it who like me.

Now, my issue with this is a)I really don't like putting myself out there. b)What the hell would I even talk about in a weekly video and/or podcast? (I'm not an expert on anything, and I feel like you should be if you're going to be talking about things.). c)I write like molasses, and this would just be another THING to do every week that wouldn't necessarily do anything or go anywhere. d)For all I'm a very open and honest person, I'm also intensely private. It's a really weird dichotomy that is hard to explain.

But, on the other hand, it's true that I never really take risks at all. I like to stay in my cave of an apartment and not really rock the boat too much. I asked a boy out once, he said no, so I never did that again. I don't even initiate hugs unless I'm drunk or forcing myself to extremely awkwardly. Sherrie tried to get me to move to Germany when I was 29 and it would have been easier to do so, but I deemed it too much work - so instead I've stayed in Vancouver for 8 years even though I'm constantly broke because Vancouver is stupidly expensive to live in. I don't participate in fanfic challenges because I always assume that I a)won't have any ideas, and b)won't be able to get it done in time, so why try? And that goes double for calls for submissions of original works.

So, yeah, do I switch that up? Do I continue the way I have been because it's quiet and comfortable and nothing ever hurts me here?

I wanted to get back into calligraphy, so I got a copy of The Prophet by Kalhil Gibran, because if I ignore the God stuff (or re-interpret God as a concept I'm comfortable with, rather than the popular concepts of God), it's a piece of work that is full of really good things to meditate on ... so, if I were going to be writing anything out slowly, I figured I'd go with it. So, to start off with, I just figured I'd read it again (because it's been at least 10 years since I have.) And I just read On Love section yesterday, and these words really stood out:

"But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor.
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears."


And man, if that didn't hit a little bit too close to home... and I had to start wondering if perhaps I was living in the seasonless world, where I laughed and wept, but shallowly... where I wasn't living life to the bottom of my soul.

Or, it could be that everyone else if full of shit and I'm living the golden life of contentedness where everything is pretty good all the time, and that's well worth not having it be absolutely horrible ever.

Anyway... that's all been on my mind.

I guess my question to you guys would be: If I did a weekly video and/or podcast - what would you want me to talk about? Or do you think that too many people these days think they're own voices are the best and I should just shut up and continue living my nice private life, to which very few people are invited?

Let me know your thoughts, please.

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