hells_half_acre: (Worried!Sam)
[personal profile] hells_half_acre
Alright, so, let's just be honest right out of the gate:

I hated this episode.

But, I have a rule around here, and it's that you HAVE to find the positive in a thing - and the rules apply to me too. So, yeah... yeah... let's see what I can do here.

We start with Eileen in the first five minutes. Which means that I know, immediately upon seeing her, that she's going to die.

Lovely. And it's not even that she's going to get a hero's death - she's going to get a two-minute teaser death.

We paused here to figure out how Eileen would be able to tell she's being stalked by a hell hound if she couldn't hear them - how would she know where to shoot? My friend laughed at the thought that it was just really stupid writing. I realized on the walk home afterwards, that it wasn't stupid writing, it was CRUEL writing... because of course an invisible monster that you can ONLY hear is what would kill Eileen. So, I suppose my positive here is that the writers were clever in their cruelty.

Did I mention that I've just started taking ASL courses and that two of my closest friends are hard of hearing? Yeah... so, this episode managed to piss me off irrevocably within the first minute.  Fuck it, I have no positives. It's Charlie all over again, but even worse - as though that were possible - and it's the same damn writers (which we'll get to later, but I'm mentioning now.)

Okay, positive: It was really nice to see an old style motel room again. We get so few of those these days, since they don't usually show where the boys are staying in the towns they stay in anymore - we usually only see them at home, or working the case - or just outside a motel but not in it. Anyway, it was nice to see one. 

In this case, Sam and Dean check out the motel that Mary was staying in, but it's clear that she hasn't been there in a bit. Dean complains about Mick never getting back to him, and then he calls Ketch to ask about Mary. Ketch gives him a hard time about his tone, and then lies and says Mary hasn't been around for over a week. Sam points out that Mary said she was working a case with him four days ago, so he's lying.

Then Jody calls Sam... and hey, there's another positive. I still love the fact that Sam is Jody's contact, not Dean. I know it's petty Samgirl of me, but I love the fact that Sam has friends, and is perhaps closer friends with Jody than Dean is... though, granted, they can share, since all of Dean's friends are dead now (except Castiel, who is once again MIA, so maybe I shouldn't give Dean such a hard time about hogging all the bonding moments.)

Anyway... Jody calls Sam to tell him about Eileen being dead, and they go look at the body. And, okay, here's another positive: Jared is a good actor. While I was really pissed off about Eileen being dead, and therefore my Saileen ship being sunk, I appreciated that Sam's reaction gave Eileen's death all the weight possible that Jared could give it... Jared did the job of honouring the character in this episode and treating her the way she should have been treated, and I REALLY REALLY appreciate that.

We find out that this is the 2nd Hunter death in a week. Dean argues that it's not a pattern until there's three. Sam points out that their mother is missing. So, we're off to another great start to the rest of the episode. Dean mentions how if she was killed by Hell Hounds, then he knows who they can start their talk with...

and we cut to Crowley, and the storyline that I absolutely hate... okay, not yet, right now, he's just reminding us that he really wants to find Kelly Kline.

Then we cut to a hunter, who comes home with a bloody machete and sticks it in his umbrella stand. Love it. (Though, I want to point out that that's not good knife care - you really need to wipe your blades after using them.)

Mary is waiting in his living room for him. She chats with him, so the audience has it established that Mary and this hunter are friends, and then she kills him. My friend and I wonder if this is a shifter... because we have Mary waking up in prison directly after, but she seems to know what happened... and I start wondering if the shifter-mind-reading flows both ways sometimes... but it's not shifter as we find out... but rather Toni is using her brainwashing-drugging mind-rapey techniques to supplant Mary's will and turn her into a puppet for the BMoL.

Toni teases Mary about her previous false life - pretending to be a housewife with John and her son, when she was the one who invited Azazel into the house in the first place, etc... and May is like "how did you know?" and Toni is like "I have many sources..." and me and my friends are like "uh, the whole story is written down in a series of books - it's not really that mysterious of a source."

But then Toni tells her how John became a revenge seeking drunken neglectful father, and Sam and Dean were basically victims of child abuse... and then teases Mary about "what, your boys didn't tell you?" ... and okay, that's a positive, I suppose? I mean... I WANTED them to address that storyline, I just think they should have addressed it WAY BEFORE NOW. But, uh, better late than never, so that's my positive.

Anyway, the plan is to turn her back into Mary Campbell, hunting-killing-machine.

Then we switch to Dr. Hess, who is visited by Crowley - at first I thought that maybe the Winchesters had already gotten in touch, since that would MAKE SENSE CHRONOLOGICALLY, but nope... so, this is just clunky writing.. but uh, positives... so, a positive here is that we learn that BMoL are even dirtier than we already know them to be, because the "deal" they have with Crowley in Britain is that he's still able to buy souls. The BMoL basically let him have anyone "foolish enough" to make a deal... which is very much opposite of Sam and Dean's philosophy where they try their best to save people from themselves too.

Dr. Hess also warns Crowley that his relationship with the Winchesters is too cozy and she's not going to spare them for his sake, or whatever. Which just basically tells me that Crowley is going to end up saving them again.

Then we cut to Lucifer, which is a storyline I REALLY HATE folks... so, ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don't even want to talk about it. Anyway, he's still chained up, and the positive here is that the demon who is helping him is handsome. I hope that actor has a good career and we see him again.

It's THEN that Crowley returns while still on the phone with the Winchesters... so, NOW they're making the call, even though they mentioned it ages ago. Okay. Anyway... Crowley comes in just to reiterate the plot. So, uh, nice of him to do that - I had totally forgotten what the plot was in the ten minutes between the Then and this scene, even though I've been watching the show all season like anybody who watches the show would be. I mean, seriously? Are there any people who walk in on the 21st episode of the show and sit there being like "I'm so confused, what's going on?" and would their confusion even be answered by Crowley's speech? NO, because they don't know who Dagon and Castiel are either, because they've apparently not been watching the show. This scene is PURELY to fill in time, because these writers can ONLY do exposition and pointless angering death, so why not also do pointless exposition to fill in those 42 minutes. UGGGGGGGGGGGGHhhhhhh. Uh... anyway, that Draxel demon is still a cutie and he was hiding behind the door for that whole scene with his face scrunched up, haha, adorable.

Back to Mary... who is being drugged. So, back to Toni who is bragging about drugging Mary... for no reason. It's even pointed out that it's pointless exposition by Ketch. 

Then Dr. Hess hints that Ketch could get Mick's job, but that Toni is his competition for it. It's the classic make your underlings compete with each other so that they can't rise up and kill you move.

Back to Dean and Sam, who are checking their mail... and apparently Eileen wrote them a letter, because she had figured out that the BMoL had bugged her phone. And she had wanted to come hide out with them for a few days. That'd been nice.

This leads Sam and Dean to go back tot he bunker and check for bugs... for some reason, Sam checks the telescope before either of them think to check underneath a table. 

But, they find the mic, so that works. 

They then set up a fake conversation where they're going to meet up with a buddy to discuss the hunter deaths. They do this while still crouched down next to the mic.. which, yeah, I get that you want to make sure they hear you - but if your voices are suddenly louder than normal - wouldn't that be suspicious? At least just stand up and have the conversation.

Back to Lucifer, because my torment is incomplete. We find out that the spell that keeps Lucifer bound is reversing, so that Lucifer is gaining control and Crowley's vessel is the one that is bound. Because of course. And of course it's with no explanation either.

Back to Ketch. I wrote "can't tell" here and I have no memory why. 

Anyway, he goes to see Mary. She says "I didn't think you'd come" which prompts this conversation with me and my friends (Kathleen and Simon):
Mary: "I didn't think you'd come."
K: "That's what she said!"
*laugh*
S: ".... that IS what she said."
*laugh harder*

Mary explains why she's so pissed off... she believed in what they were doing, trying to get a world without monsters. Ketch keeps distancing himself from her, reminding her that she didn't want a relationship with him and whatnot ... Mary gets close enough to pull his gun and tries to kill herself, but he stops her. She pleads with him to shoot her, because she's putting her sons in danger, and losing her will. 

Then I start wondering whether she still has the power to summon Billie, since Billie told her that she'd kill her anytime she wanted... but then I remembered that Billie was dead, so that sucked double for me.

But, the positive here is that Sam Smith does a good job. Mary's been mostly emotionless for this whole season, because Samantha hasn't had that much to work with besides "Mary is confused about being alive and estranged from her sons, so is throwing herself into hunting, because mal-adaptive emotional responses are apparently genetic in this family." 

Sam and Dean successfully capture Toni at their fake rendezvous with Larry.

Oh hey, there's another positive: I bet Larry Maldive (oh whatever the name they gave was) is a code word they use for a particular set-up. I love stuff like that.

Back to Crowley and Lucifer (of course) where we see Lucifer take control. The positive here is that Mark Sheppard is really fantastic at playing someone who doesn't realize that he's making funny faces even though he is.

Toni totally confesses to killing Eileen (or at least the BMoL doing it) in the car on the way, and yet Sam doesn't shoot her. Though, I do realize that they need her to try to find Mary (though, doesn't Sam know exactly where their base is? Why did they not just take the fight to them?)

Uh, positives positives... for this entire scene, I kept thinking of that movie... was it Pulp Fiction? Where the guy is sitting in the front seat with a gun trained on the dude in the backseat, and then the driver goes over a pothole and the gun goes off, and the guy's brains get blown out... and yeah, that was a nice scenario to run in my head.

But, what actually happens is that Toni tells them what's going on with Mary, so they know, and then she teases them about Mary sleeping with Ketch, to piss them off - because apparently we didn't already hate these people enough? Like, seriously, stop overwriting your villains. RAR.

She also tells them that Mick's dead because he was too sentimental, and that the BMoL plan to kill all their friends including Jody and Claire.

Uh, positive....positive... always nice to be in the Impala! What a great car!

We need that positive, because it's back to Lucifer and Crowley now. 

Crowley tries to run, but fails. Lucifer goes to kill Crowley, but he turns around at one point and Crowley sees a rat, and then when Lucifer stabs him with the angel blade, Crowley's meatsuit SUSPICIOUSLY does not go flashy-flashy... so, Crowley's vessel is possibly toast, but Crowley himself is fine and inside of a rat.

The boys take Toni to the bunker, where Ketch and some BMoL are lying in wait... there's a cool sequence where Sam and Dean briefly get the upperhand... also, Dean gets an awesome headshot on a guy wearing full bodyarmour (but obviously not a helmet - idiot).

But then Ketch brings in his secret weapon, which is a brainwashed Mary - who holds the boys at gun point and allows Ketch to escape. Before he goes, Ketch tells him his elaborate death-plan for them - which is apparently that he's rejigged the locks so that the Bunker is locked from the outside, he's cut off their water, and reversed the airpumps so that the air goes out instead of in... so that they'll die of dehydration and suffocation within two days.

This is where me and my friends have to pause the episode to look at each other and say "HE HAS MULTIPLE GUNS AIMED AT THEIR HEADS!" "WHAT IS THIS JAMES BOND VILLAIN CRAP?!" "THIS IS THE STUPIDEST PLAN THAT EVER STUPIDED." Like, COME ON WRITERS. At the very least, they could have come up with a REASON for the elaborate plan... like Mary's conditioning would break if she actually hurt them... or, they could still save it if Ketch was secretly HELPING them... if we find that out next episode, then cool, that's fine... then this elaborate death-plan will be vindicated. Until then though, MY GOD.

Uh, anyway, Ketch locks Toni in with them, because apparently he doesn't want to just shoot her in the head either, for some reason. Someone should though. Sam should. If I were writing this, Sam would totally just shot her in the head. His questionable morality in the action can be a soul-searching character plot-point.

Then Ketch and Mary drive away and Ketch tells Mary that it gets easier to hurt people that you don't remember loving. So, that's nice.

And then we get Lucifer standing in front of some bad CGI, because I guess it was raining and miserable in Vancouver that day so they couldn't actually go outside... or maybe our vistas are just too vancouver-y.

And thus the episode ends.

I need more positive things: Uh, Jared can act... that fight scene was cool. Crowley's in a rat and I kind of like it when Crowley switches up vessels. Uh... Jody is still alive. I don't know. My main positive is that the episode is over, to be truthful.

My prediction for the finale is that Mary will die (because that'll piss me off) and Lucifer will announce himself as the big bad for S13 (because that will also piss me off). 

I don't know if this means the Mark Sheppard vessel is toast, or if Crowley can resurrect it again... or if the rat is just waiting for them to toss the vessel outside so it can get back into it and heal it up and wear it again... probably that. Though, I think if I were writing the next episode, I'd have Crowley infiltrate the bunker as a rat - possess Toni, and wear her for the a bit before killing her.. THEN he can go back to his old vessel.

So, yeah... uh, that's angry me. I'm sorry if I did a really bad job of following my own rule. Nevertheless, please try to follow the rule when you comment - though, misery loves company, so feel free to complain too. 

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